Recipe # 14: How To Be a Good Mother

I saw this on the Tyra Show the other day (I'm not a big fan of the show, but the topic caught my interest), where this young mother, age 20, had applied for and was hired at, a Brothel House and became a legal prostitute @ 6months pregnant. This girl's excuse was that her unplanned pregnancy, past due bills, and minimum wage employment caused her to choose this line of work. She was hired at this Brothel and from that point, she says her family, except her older sister, turned their backs on her and didn't lend any support. She was sitting up on the stage crying saying that this was the only option for her, and that any other minimum wage job, at the least, would not help her do what she needs to do to support herself and her baby. She also mentioned that there are a lot of of men that come to the Brothel just to be with her, to fulfill a sexual pregnancy fantasy. Now, I'm not a mother yet, but I do have a good idea of what motherhood entails. Yes, you do whatever you have to do for your child. BUT, you do what's in the best interest of the child, born or unborn. You don't put yourself in dangerous situations that can jeopardize the life of the baby. You do what is healthy, and set-up an environment that is healthy for a child to be in. Of course, to the best of your ability, because of course not everyone can afford the best of everything for their child, but there are appropriate ways and places to get the things you need. You also prepare yourself as a woman, to be a good role model for the child, especially as a single mother, as this woman was. Now, the baby's dad had his say, saying that he does not agree at all with the girl's choice and that he wants her to stop and find a regular job. Living with his mother, there was only so much support he could offer financially. But the main issue was that this girl thought that prostitution was her only option. She mentions also that without the family support, she feels like the other women at the Brothel treat her like family, and they threw her a baby shower (rolling my eyes). At 20years old, you mean to tell me that you felt you had no other options? Her father, being the mayor of her city, could not provide some help and advice? You felt too proud to apply for welfare? You felt that $10/hr job could not lend you some help in your first two trimesters? You felt the only way to support yourself and your unborn baby was to spread your legs for money? That is disgusting to me. I didn't have any sympathy for this girl, at all. There are so many places to go to for help. Debt consolidation if the debt is so out of control. Subsidized housing is available. There are so many options available and ways to find out where to go for help. It is just disgusting that she sat there expecting ppl to feel sorry for her, even though she admitted that at times she enjoys sleeping with the men. When asked what she would do once the baby was born, now at 8 months pregnant, she said she didn't know. This shows me that this girl has no idea what she is doing with her life at all, and has not thought about the well-being of child other than actually having the baby. And shame on her sister for not giving her sister more advice or help, because even though she told her that she disagrees with her choice, but how about researching some options for her seeing that the girl seems and feels that hopeless. Tyra said, and I agree with her, that there are so many other women that are in worse situations than her and don't ever feel like sex for money is an option. When you are pregnant, sex with multiple partners is very contraindicated and extremely risky. It's scary that some women feel that this is the only option for them as a woman and mother-to-be. sigh.

Live. Laugh. Love.

din-din.

Recipe # 13 : Good Hair

Unfortunately, one of the effects of Slavery was that Black people, especially among Black Women, was that we were conditioned to believe that straight, long, silky hair was better than curly, kinky hair. The evolution of relaxers and straighteners have given us a choice of how to wear our hair, along with weaves and extensions. Some of us now go as far to say that Black Women that don't wear their hair naturally have fallen victim to the "White Man" and have a distorted view of real Black beauty, and that by straightening our hair is damaging it. Granted, the chemicals that are used, although not as harsh as they once were, are some serious chemicals. But there are many ways to treat the hair to make sure that it stays healthy. Whether or not it is relaxed or natural, Black hair needs to be treated, moisturized, and all that good stuff. We as a people have evolved mentally enough to choose how we want to wear our hair. It doesn't matter if it is straight or not, it is our beautiful crown. The versatility makes us unique from all other races, to the point where some would love to have our hair. I can't count the amount of times a non-Black woman has said to me or my friends that they would love to have hair like ours. So embrace your beauty, my Black Women! Take care of it, love it, and enjoy it!

Live. Laugh. Love.

din-din.